There are birds, and yet a phoenix that stands out,
There are flowers, and there’s jade vine that stuns the world with its stem size,
There are the ‘also rans’ and there’s a winner,
There are other people, and there’s a Sundaram!
Periappa was an icon of wisdom and immense strength. A self-made man, his discipline and punctuality at 88 stunned many– for he turned up at work absolutely energetic, on time, every day, six-days-a-week until a fall led to a hip replacement surgery, making him stay home for an extended period. Of course, he stunned his doctor & physiotherapist with the recovery speed and his will to get back on his feet in less than six months!
Doctors at the medical facility where he needed to stay in the last 10 days of his life called him a ‘miracle man’- A 90-year old with such a complicated condition - Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) for 7-8 years & further complications of the heart & other vital organs - wouldn’t show such zest for life and improvement overnight. Well, this again was no surprise; We all knew defiance was second nature for him!
A teenager who took a one-way ticket to Mumbai, to join the J.J. College of Arts realized that life had other plans for him. He served the army for a couple of years and then chose to work with a Briton. Overlooking his boss’ eccentric ways of working, he instead stayed focused and imbibed his discipline and work ethics. His love for languages helped him gain mastery over ‘English’, something that he was always proud of. Periappa read the Oxford dictionary end-to-end and made mental notes when the Englishmen used these words. At the end when Periappa quit the job, the same man who teased him about his accent & poor diction, complimented him for holding impeccable conversations, clearing him as the best-spoken, best dressed and eloquent Indian he’d met in the few decades he’d lived and worked in India.
Periappa moved to become a businessman, while the world craved for stable, government jobs.. He’d let his wife take financial decisions for the family, when his friends & relatives relegated theirs to cooking, child-rearing & household chores.. He turned up at marriages & engagements wearing his stylish dress shirts & safari suits while his counterparts turned up in ‘Veshti-chokkas’.. He celebrated his daughter’s personal & educational achievements as much as, if not more than his sons.. While the world believed in getting them married as soon as possible, he instilled in her an undying love for learning & music – she’d go on to get a Masters with a one-and-a-half year old, become a teacher, a principal and then the leading educational counselor sending 1000s of students abroad to pursue further education, that he would help her run for the next 15 years! Their relationship was similar to the movie ‘Piku’ (more about this later)..
A forced retirement at 70, post Periamma’s sudden demise (owing to medical negligence), was short-lived. Little would he have known that greater things awaited him - Myriad opportunities that would require him to put to use all the learning from 30+ years of being a businesssman. While he served as an advisor to all the entrepreneurial ventures his children led, he focused most of his time & effort on building & establishing 'The Gyan Foundation' - the education counseling business built from a mere junk email. “Uncle” - as he was known among all the students that he interacted with, would remember every little detail about the students & their parents while simultaneously keeping an exact tab on the proportion of fees paid/ unpaid, universities applied to and documents not submitted.
He would go on to teach his entrepreneur children the most important lesson – not all money was good money; In short, not having the capital was better than having it from a financer that did not share your set of values & work ethics! He would celebrate their small successes and yet berate them when they made decisions that would lead to a smaller profit, let alone a loss. His infectious laughter reverberated when he was happy, and the trademark anger in his voice when upset, terrified the best of trouble makers.
A sales & marketing person to the core, his immaculate dressing & grooming sense was unmatchable. “Don’t mind, but I must tell you.. this dress just doesn’t compliment you” in short meant “it’s time you checked the mirror”. It’s no wonder that the day before he passed away, he insisted on being clean-shaven and wanted a hair-cut too so he could be “more presentable” – that was the signature Sundaram look! Not a drool and not a slurp sound even after he discarded his dentures.
He taught us grand-children the power of dreams, inspiring us with his personal stories and habits & way of life alike! He instilled in us a love for books & travel and would scold us fiercely if any of us we whiled away our time on gaming/ television. What he hated most though was gossip or senseless talking behind one’s back. A mere gesture of his hand followed by “porrum” (that’s enough) and we knew he meant business (rather get back to your business)!
He taught us lessons in self-discipline and restraint through his eating habits, lessons in prudence through his constant focus on saving vs. expenses, lessons in karma when he kept on working hard through good & bad times not once complaining about the fruits not borne, lessons in compassion & discipline when he would lend and then ask people to repay the loan at the time they said they would return. He taught us life skills & lessons that will remain with us for decades to come… In short, he lived life king-size, on his terms and did the same when faced with death - It was his wish to return home from the hospital and he ensured that he was surrounded by all his children at home when he breathed his last in the evening of June 3.
It’s no wonder then that five generations spoke about him at his funeral.. His counterpart - an octogenarian talked about how his mom goaded her sons to be like Sundaram. My cousin chaachus talked about how his brother-in-law & co-brothers-in-law looked forward to the awesome company that he would keep them at the family home in Bombay..
His children & cousin chaachus & buas talked about how he played peace-maker between their parents & him cos he understood their perspective better. We grand-children felt immense pain at the loss of this energetic (actually hyper-active) ball of energy that welcomed us with a hug & kiss no matter what time of the day you visited him. “Why do you choose such a weird hour to arrive?”, he’d comment and insist that we are fed before we hit the bed.
5-year old Rhea summed it all up with her reaction when I broke the news to Dhruv & her. “Oh No.. He is my Hero.. Why are you saying he’s no more? Will I never be able to meet him? Will he not be able to talk to me & hear my stories?”
Words fail to express how much he is missed.. the least we can do is to carry forward the rich lineage that he left behind. Rest In Peace, Periappa.. We all love you and miss you loads. We will celebrate the 90 wonderful years you lived rather than lament – for we know, how pained you will be if we used grief as a getaway from the realities of the world. Love you my hero…
No comments:
Post a Comment